Seeking closure…….

Seeking closure…….

to your marriage and starting on a new path towards divorce

There are no rituals, ceremonies or customs ending a marriage, as there are mourning the death of a loved one. However, many people are looking for a way to find closure, to mourn the end of their marriage.

I started thinking about symbolic ways to mourn the ending of a marriage because I was recently asked if I have ever heard of a Divorce Cake.

While I have never heard of anyone baking or serving divorce cake (this doesn’t mean no one has done this), there are some ideas which might help people to move on. While one might need a sense of humor to creatively use one of these tactics, there is definitely some merit to it.

In a recent article in The Globe and Mail newspaper I read about a coffin designed for wedding rings. I thought this an out of the ordinary idea, as it implies burying the past, mourning the past and then moving on.

I received an email from a family lawyer who told me of a client who insisted on walking her divorce petition down to the courthouse and filing it herself. She said she went down to get the marriage application and wants now to be part of the unwinding process. I thought this idea to be brilliant. This was a woman taking control of her life.

There are people who throw divorce parties, mail out or email notices of their divorce. Interesting concepts too. The thing to remember is, you don’t want to show anger, bitterness or remorse. You certainly don’t want to offend your friends, make them feel uncomfortable or create a mockery of yourself. Use this as an opportunity for closure and healing.

But, back to the cake. I thought, what could that recipe for divorce cake be?

How about –

I dash of focus (on how you would like your life to unfold)

2 sprinkles of hope

and lots of confidence (for enabling yourself to achieve the life you envision).

All of this achieved by doing research, asking questions and accepting that this is an emotional time – and dealing with your emotions.

Divorce is rich in opportunity to learn and grow from. Use these lessons well.