Steven Benmor talks obstacles to settling


obstacles to settling

When I ask family lawyers about obstacles and challenges to settling and obtaining a separation agreementOpens in a new tab.,  they often comment: clients have unrealistic expectations; the family lawyer on the other side is difficult; or  the client may not be emotionally ready, she/he might still be grieving.

However, there is another problem that can make settlement elusive, tough to obtain, costly, and frustrating.  That is, the party on the other side.  What do you do when your partner has a difficult personality, or is so angry that she/he wants to make you “pay” and prolongs the process.

This interview on The Smart DivorceOpens in a new tab. on Divorce Source Radio provides excellent advise, tips and strategies when your ex is the obstacle to settlement.

Overcoming Your Ex as an Obstacle to Settlement

There is a kaleidoscope of emotion experienced in divorce, and sometimes it makes good people do bad things, but can also bring out the worst in people especially those with mental wellness issues. What happens when you are faced with adversity from the other side, crazy-making behaviour, deception, lies, and so on?

Our guest is Steven Benmor, a family lawyer who only handles matrimonial cases.   He takes us through the critical steps and thinking behind dealing with the difficult issues and personalities.   Steven is a Certified Specialist in Family Law by the Law Society of Upper Canada, Adjunct Professor at Osgoode Hall Law School, Co-chair of the Board of Access For Parents and Children in Ontario, Executive Member of the Family Law Section of the Ontario Bar Association, Member of the Board of the Ontario Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, Member of the Board of the Ontario Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse, Member of The Advocates Society, Member of the Toronto Lawyers Association and Member of the Family Lawyers Association. Steven is a recognized family lawyer, educator, speaker and writer – and is well versed in dealing with many of the difficult divorce dilemmas that only the most seasoned of family lawyers can handle so adeptly.

In this episode of The Smart Divorce, we discuss personality disorderOpens in a new tab., the relationship breakdown business, and  stepchildren support.

Topics include:

  • Dealing with oppositional, paranoid and aggressive behavior from the other side –your soon to be former partner and their legal counsel
  • Why you’re better off in the legal system
  • Getting out of “emotional jail”
  • Why it’s important to focus on the truth, not on the lie
  • What the system is – an adversarial systemOpens in a new tab., and not an inquisition system
  • Legal responsibilities to the stepchildren
  • Overcoming your ex
  • And much more!

Click arrow to play Podcast:

Overcoming Your Ex is an Obstacle to SettlementOpens in a new tab.

There is a kaleidoscope of emotion experienced in divorce, and sometimes it makes good people do bad things, but can also bring out the worst in people especially those with mental wellness issues. What happens when you are faced with the adversity from the other side, crazy making behavior, deception, lies, and so on.

Please share your thoughts.  And for the family lawyers reading this post, how do you handle this situation?  Readers, please note: do not construe this as legal advice.

For more information and to contact Steven Benmor visit his websiteOpens in a new tab. 

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Deborah Moskovitch

This blog post was written by Deborah Moskovitch the author of "The Smart Divorce", the catalyst for this website. This evergreen book covers how to manage the divorce process for a less painful result.

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