Kids Need Their Fathers, During and After Divorce
Fatherlessness is one of the tragic truths of divorce and its aftermath. In this episode of Deborah Moskovitch’s Smart Divorce, we talk about how important it is for fathers to stay active in their children’s lives, especially during and after divorce.
Fathers’ relationships are more likely to be thinning out than mothers’. While much attention and research has been paid to single-parent families in which the mother is the parent, little has been paid to single-parent households in which the father is the parent. Families with a single father make up a small but growing proportion of our population. But what happens if the fathers aren’t present?
Deborah Moskovitch and Steve Peck delve into this topic, offering insight on fatherlessness as well as suggestions for staying connected.
What if I told you:
- By 2-3 years after divorce, up to 25% of children have not seen their father.
- Daughters who do not have a relationship with their father are more likely to have long-term emotional problems, are more promiscuous, and are less likely to complete high school and college, whereas males are more likely to engage in delinquent activity.
- After their parents divorce, 80 percent of daughters and sons in the United States only live with their fathers for 10 to 15% of the time.
Listen in to learn what you can do and how you can overcome these challenges. According to studies, fathers who are more involved in their children’s lives are less likely to divorce themselves.
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Father’s Day had me thinking about dads, just as Mother’s Day had me thinking about mums.
What qualities make a good dad?
There are various types of fathers. There are two types of fathers: those who can fix anything and those who can’t but believe they can. There are two types of fathers: those who prefer to be on the sports field with their children, cheering them on and coaching their teams to success. Then there’s the father who is divorced…
Why do fathers matter?
That can be the most difficult kind of father to be, as well as the most difficult kind of father to have. That was the kind of father I had when I was a kid. We had a hard road ahead of us, but we managed to stick together for the most part. What I’ve noticed about today’s dads is that they appear to be more cognizant of the importance of prioritizing their children. More males are dropping their kids off at school, attending school festivities, and even lingering at children’s birthday parties, according to my observations. It makes me pleased to see a father who is involved in his children’s lives. Being an adult with the burden of working and providing for a family is difficult, but I believe that if you choose to have children, you should also choose to be there for them.
Being there can be more challenging after a divorce. If your father does not live with you, he may not always be available when you require assistance. Despite the fact that my father did not live with me, he had a knack for coming up when the “chips were down,” as he put it. I recall him showing up at my house with the greatest chicken soup in town while I was home ill from school. I also recall a time when I was scanning the room for him at a dancing recital and he wasn’t there. Now, whenever I attend a performance or a school function, I pay special attention to the children’s expressions as they desperately search for their missing loved ones. When they discover someone is missing, I fear the inevitable sorrowful look in their eyes. What hits me is the realization that the person who isn’t in the room has suddenly taken up the entire space. What is the reason for this?
What is the role of a father?
Tell him if you miss having a father who is present, who knows your friends’ names, and who knows you. Allow him to get to know you. Dads are crucial. In the life of tiny children, they are these large, powerful beings. In children’s novels, they are frequently depicted as the polar opposite. That is the case.
Lily’s Lucky Daddy was the narrative that motivated me to write. I wanted to share a story that celebrates all good fathers.
Why are fathers important to daughters?
That’s the thing about life: even though I had problems with my own father, I had a feeling that the man I married would be a decent father. How did I figure it out? Maybe I was just clinging to a glimmer of optimism. Maybe I just happened to be at the right place at the right time. It’s interesting because another memory that stands out in my mind is of my father watching as my husband and I drove our daughter home for the first time from the hospital. I’m delighted he showed up.
If you have a nice dad or know someone who is a good dad, uncle, or grandfather, let them know how you feel as we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day in June. I can honestly say that seeing my spouse love our daughter brings me the peace I didn’t realize was possible. I opted for the classic bad boy when I was in high school, just like you are today. You know who I’m talking about: the cool kid who is never there for you. I’m drawn to a man who plays Barbies with a bright-eyed five-year-old and is always there when we need him these days.
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