No really I do…
It’s been great accusing a guy of being just like my father.
Being on 24hr lookout for any kind of resemblance.
Using my determination to never take that confusing route.
Internalizing their mistakes as a filter and guide instead of a lesson learned.
Ignoring the truth.
Thinking I knew the truth.
Living like I’m some sort of super human that refuses to get hurt through avoidance.
Being a prisoner to my own circumstances.
Afraid to take a chance with people so I depend on myself.
Creating reasons upon reasons as to why it happened and why I had to be there when it did.
Wanting an apology.
Constantly deciding how my life will be different.
Living compared instead of just living.
So yes, I love being bitter about my parents’ divorce! It has been getting me far…
YEAH… I DON’T, I give up on being puffed up in bitterness. Rehearsing what I cannot change. Wanting an apology when I’ve already decided how I feel… WITHOUT a questionable apologetic seal. It happened. I’m over it and I am done.
See in the midst of all that bitterness, I learned to like raisins. Grapes cultivating into a new life like an ugly caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly. I accepted what was and decided to live in what is.
This is the life I’ve been given…and only I can live it.
So, here is the truth I’ve been avoiding:
Bitterness doesn’t benefit me one bit. It drives people away that are over my hissy fits.
It was time for me to decide that I deserve to be present in my present and the people attempting to be in it should not be catching up from the past, which they were not in.
If you can relate, say AMEN!!
I know that I am not by myself but I’d rather share this and be alone, than hold on to my hate and refuse to understand what is hurting me, when healing keeps asking for me.
So __________(insert your name here), it’s time to put your big girl or grown man pants on. And tell the Truth, “I want to love you!”
Call out what’s calling because between you and me…
I’m tired of being bitter about my parents’ divorce (or any other person’s divorce).
I’m over accusing one too many people that they remind me of one of them, and using that as the excuse to dismiss them versus being honest about what I simply don’t like.
Ignoring the truth.
Acting like I knew the truth.
And putting my life and wisdom on hold to live in comparison.
I will no longer allow what has been calling to keep me bitter and stuck.
The past happened. It’s over. It is a lesson. Learn it. Keep going.
There is no need to be bitter about water that has gone down the drain when more comes out the faucet.
Their divorce marked the end but the end is a great place for us to begin…
My experience. My journey.
By Lauren Alicia
Lauren Alicia (Michigan native) is the author of “Dear Divorce, Thank You (Even Though I Hate You) Sincerely, My Parents’ Grown Kid: A Journey Of Hate, Healing And Understanding.” Alicia is a Parsons the New School for Design graduate, business/design enthusiast, blogger and collaborator, allowing her experiences to evolve into the reality she always imagined. Find other related articles on DearDivorceThankYou.com
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