Taking Charge of Your Separation and Divorce

1. 7 Secrets to a Successful Divorce Embarking on a divorce process demands financial decision-making that will alter the course of your life. Most individuals lack knowledge about the financial specifics of getting divorced. Emotions often cloud judgment, leading to poor, irreversible choices. It’s crucial to educate yourself about the financial implications of your divorce.

At Alberta Divorce Finances, we empower individuals undergoing a divorce by educating them about the financial and tax implications of their decisions. We have a deep and personal understanding of the financial aspects of divorce.

A 50/50 Property Split is Not Always Equal What do you need to know to ensure that your settlement is both fair and equitable?

1. Money will almost always become an issue in divorce.
2. Understand that a 50/50 division of property is not always equal.
3. Make sure that you can afford to keep the house before you settle this matter.
4. Understand the “true” value of your investments and Registered Retirement Savings Plans.
5. Ensure that pensions are valued properly.
6. Ensure that the payor of child and/or spousal support has Life Insurance to fulfill future support obligations.
7. Many divorce decisions have implications for your tax return.

Divorce is a stressful and emotional time, and bad decisions are often made under stress. You must become educated on “what you need to know” about the finances of your divorce.

Visit: Alberta Divorce Finances.com

Child Considerations 2) HELPING KIDS THROUGH SEPARATION/DIVORCE: Handout – HELPING KIDS THROUGH SEPARATION

• The way parents manage their separation/divorce impacts their children; each individual can make a difference by their OWN choice of behaviors.
• In separation/divorce, co-parents need to shift their former intimate relationship to that of neutral business associates linked for the long-term in the “business of co-parenting”.
• Children’s needs and feelings should be a priority; they require reassurance that they are loved by both parents and belong to both parents and extended families.
• Giving kids permission and opportunities to maintain relationships with both parents/families is important to their well-being and growth/development (*some exceptions: family violence, substance abuse, profound mental health issues).
• Conflict is typically a part of separation/divorce; how it is managed has an impact on outcomes for children; kids need to be kept out of “adult issues” including parent conflict and encouraged to regain and resume their own life pursuits to meet their developmental ages/stages.
• Most often children view separation/divorce differently than the adults involved as they do not always see it as a way of improving their life; parents can be sensitive to this difference in perspective.
• Children need understanding and guidance to manage and communicate their unique feelings and behaviors through the process of separation/divorce.
• Shame, blame, and embarrassment are feelings that children may express; they need reassurance and age-appropriate explanations that separation/divorce is not their fault.
• Attention to the variety of loss/grief reactions of both adults and kids is important through separation/divorce; Examples: sadness, anxiety, fear, anger, and feeling physically unwell.
• Parents may be less available for their children particularly in the first year of separation/divorce (“diminished parenting”); this may negatively impact kids outcomes as they need their parents most at this time of change and transitions.
• When possible, minimizing and “pacing” the multiple changes in their lives as a result of the separation/divorce is helpful for kids; strive for predictability and routines.
• Transitioning between two households can be difficult for some children; each parent can help their children to manage this challenge with sensitivity, organization, and support.
• A Parenting Plan is an essential working document that helps provide a framework for adults and children to manage the separation/divorce; a detailed plan that is reviewed regularly helps address the family’s changing needs.
• An individual’s influence and/or control with their co-parent is typically limited; their focus and energy is better placed on developing a consistent life with their children in their own home.

(Sandy Shuler, B.S.W., R.S.W., C.C.F.E. 2010. Reproduction only by permission. Sandy is the Co-author of the established “Effective Co-Parenting: Putting Kids First” program; Co-author of “Groupworks: training for small group facilitators” Developer of the “Fairway Divorce Solutions Nurtured Children Parent Education Seminar”; Sandy is Director/Consultant of Family Life Works Inc.; www.familylifeworks.ca; 403-540-5608)

Taking Charge of Your Separation and Divorce Impact – Options – Opportunities I was part of a “one-stop” information panel of experts discussing the emotional, legal, financial, and child aspects of divorce. I thought the handouts provided would be very helpful…….the information if provided both within this post, as well as attached within a pdf. Being smart about divorce means arming yourself with as much information as possible…..here’s a start. THE SMART DIVORCE® What is A Smart Divorce? The Smart Divorce process will help you to: • Understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce”. • Understand the various dispute resolutions available. • Make informed decisions. • Minimize the financial, legal, and emotional stress. Be SMART about your divorce. State your goals and objectives at the beginning. Make sure these are realistic. Maximize your information and knowledge base. Avoid reacting to your emotions. Retain the best possible divorce team your budget allows. Treat your divorce as a business transaction. How to start The Smart Divorce

1. Develop your support network – therapist/supportive counselor, support groups, clergy, divorce consultant, and friends.
2. Choose your family lawyer carefully – interview 3 divorce lawyers.
3. Be informed. Understand the dispute resolutions: Do-It-Yourself; Negotiation; Mediation; Collaborative Family Law; Arbitration; Litigation; private companies who offer divorce mediation/resolution.
4. Put your children’s best interests first.
5. Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert; financial adviser and others.
6. Get your finances in order.
7. Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
8. Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there. You may contact Sarah by email at [email protected] or, by calling her office at (647) 493-1800 Deborah Moskovitch is a divorce consultant and educator, and author of The Smart Divorce: Proven Strategies and Valuable Advice from 100 Top Divorce Lawyers, Financial Advisers, Counselors, and Other Experts. Sarah has become an opinion leader in the media and has shared her insights and research on television and radio to explain that divorce can be managed in smarter ways. Copyright ©2010 The Smart Divorce® and Deborah Moskovitch All rights reserved. No portion of this material may be reproduced in any form without the express written permission of Deborah Moskovitch and The Smart Divorce.