Your divorce will undoubtedly be a period marked by intense emotions, regardless of whether you initiated it or not. If you’re the one advocating for the divorce, you might experience feelings of impatience, eagerness, or disconnection. Conversely, if the divorce wasn’t your choice, you may be dealing with sadness, shock, or feelings of betrayal. These emotions, albeit perfectly natural, can make the divorce process more expensive and complicated than necessary. You might make decisions that don’t serve your best interests, leaving you feeling lost once your marriage ends. This is where hiring a divorce coach can make all the difference, providing emotional support and guidance during this life-changing event.
While many people consider seeking a therapist during a divorce, fewer contemplate hiring a divorce coach. Although therapists certainly have a crucial role and may be necessary during the divorce journey, my clients who’ve hired divorce coaches often manage better as they navigate this challenging period. Therapists generally explore why things are the way they are, delving into your past experiences to help you fix what isn’t working. On the other hand, divorce coaches focus on the present and future. They’ll assist in defining your values and goals, visualizing your dreams, and crafting your post-divorce life.
Family lawyers or Family mediators can provide some emotional support, but their primary role involves the legal side of the divorce process. They help set reasonable legal goals, answer necessary legal questions, review potential outcomes to facilitate case settlement, and represent you in court if out-of-court resolution isn’t possible. However, if lawyers also handle the emotional side, the costs can significantly increase. This is where a divorce coach can help, ensuring you navigate your feelings, organize your thoughts, and make decisions based on a future you may not yet have envisioned.
Divorce coaches can help you manage your emotions, allowing you to deal with divorce-related issues alongside your family lawyer
. This goal-oriented process designed for action helps you navigate your divorce, make purposeful decisions during the process, and prepare a concrete plan for your life post-divorce. When your divorce coach works in tandem with you and your family lawyer, the process becomes more seamless. Having a coach during this definitive life event—your divorce—can support you in transitioning through this process positively, with the ultimate aim of reaching a legal conclusion that bolsters your future plan.
Victoria Crawford, a certified professional coach, and I have created a simple plan to guide people both emotionally and legally through a successful divorce. We’re committed to empowering individuals to look forward to their life after divorce, rather than merely resigning themselves to it. In our upcoming blogs, Victoria and I will highlight the five essential steps to navigate your divorce journey to a successful conclusion emotionally and legally.
If you haven’t considered hiring a divorce coach, I urge you to. It could be one of the most valuable gifts you grant yourself during your divorce. Remember, although divorce signifies the end of a marriage, it’s not the end of your life. Our process aims to help you move forward to create and live your Next Best Life.
Victoria and I have collaborated on an approach that combines the wisdom of coaching with the legal navigation of divorce. This approach aims to empower you to create the future you desire.
Step 1: Being with Change and Emotion
When the decision to divorce occurs, it signifies the end of a life you once knew. Regardless of whether you wanted the divorce or not, it’s often an emotional time, filled with uncertainty and rapid change. Important decisions must be made, and you may feel off-balanced or overwhelmed. To navigate through this time, you need to connect with your inner strength and wisdom for discernment, and feel empowered and supported as you move forward.
The first step involves willingness: willingness to accept that the marriage has ended, and willingness to learn the skills needed at this challenging time. Coaching can help you find your center and regain your confidence, regardless of the situation you’re facing. During this initial period, coaching will help you:
- Understand how to cope with your emotions and the new reality;
- Learn tools and techniques for self-awareness, self-management, and stress management; and
- Learn how to shift your perspective from anger and fear to a state of balance.
These coping skills will help reduce fear, anger, anxiety, and worry, enabling you to choose positive, constructive options as you take the next step forward.
Step 2: Understanding the Legal Process
The early stages of divorce tend to be the most challenging. Suddenly, former lovers find themselves in a lawsuit with no rules and a constantly shifting landscape. Emotions are running high, and you may find it hard to focus or even absorb advice. Tasks you need to accomplish for me to assist you might go uncompleted. You might be more focused on “fighting back” than thinking about your future, or you may be unclear about your goals and priorities.
Coaching on acceptance and willingness during these early stages allows you to:
- Meaningfully and strategically select and begin working with Family lawyers or Family mediators and other professionals;
- Understand the procedures and steps required to legally end your marriage;
- Work on tasks assigned by your family lawyer;
- Understand the list of issues that must be resolved to proceed with the divorce; and
- Understand the importance of minimizing the impact of the divorce on your children.
The SMART DIVORCE
What is a Smart Divorce?
The Smart Divorce process helps you:
- Understand the “emotional divorce” versus the “legal divorce.”
- Understand the various dispute resolutions available.
- Make informed decisions.
- Minimize financial, legal, and emotional stress.
Be SMART about your divorce:
- State your goals and objectives at the beginning and ensure they’re realistic.
- Maximize your information and knowledge base.
- Avoid reacting to your emotions.
- Retain the best possible divorce team within your budget.
- Treat your divorce as a business transaction.
How to Start The Smart Divorce
- Develop your support network – therapists, support groups, clergy, divorce consultants, and friends.
- Interview three divorce lawyers.
- Be informed. Understand the dispute resolutions – do-it-yourself, negotiation, mediation, collaborative family law, arbitration, litigation.
- Put your children’s best interests first.
- Hire the right team of professionals based on your needs – parenting expert, financial adviser, and others.
- Get your finances in order.
- Stay organized – create your divorce notebook and divorce journal.
- Have a vision for how you want your life to unfold and develop strategies to get there.
Final Thoughts
As we navigate the tumultuous waters of divorce, it’s crucial to remember that we’re not alone. Many divorce coaches, like a CDC certified divorce coach, are available to provide support and guidance during this difficult time. They assist clients in various stages of their divorce proceedings, from contemplating divorce to moving forward after the legal aspects have been settled.
A divorce coach creates a safe space for clients to express their emotions and fears. They provide structure and strategies to help clients manage the challenges that divorce brings, such as co-parenting issues and high conflict divorces. They also help clients develop better decision-making and communication skills, which are essential for effective co-parenting.
Working with a divorce coach has tremendous benefits. They can help you clarify your goals and provide the motivation you need to achieve them. They can also assist you in navigating the legal system, which can be overwhelming for most people. A divorce coach can work alongside your divorce attorney and financial planners to ensure that your best interests are protected.
Divorce coaches work with a wide range of clients, from parents struggling with co-parenting issues to individuals dealing with the mental health impacts of divorce. They provide support and guidance, helping clients adapt to the many changes that come with divorce. They also help clients envision a new life after divorce, one filled with freedom and self-care.
Hiring a divorce coach can lead to better outcomes in divorce proceedings. They can help you make informed decisions, manage your emotions, and ultimately, lead a happier, healthier life post-divorce. So, if you’re going through a divorce, consider hiring a divorce coach. It could be one of the best decisions you make during this challenging time.
Remember, divorce signifies the end of a marriage, but it’s not the end of the world. With the right support and guidance, you can navigate this journey with clarity and confidence. You can create a new life for yourself, one filled with peace, happiness, and fulfillment. And a divorce coach can help you get there.
A divorce coach helps you maintain focus on your ultimate goal, which is to transition smoothly from a difficult time to a new life. They assist clients in setting realistic goals and developing effective strategies to achieve them. They also provide support in managing the emotional challenges that come with divorce, such as feelings of guilt, anger, and depression.
Co-parenting issues can be one of the most challenging aspects of a divorce. A divorce coach can help parents develop effective communication skills and strategies to manage high conflict situations. They can assist in creating a parenting plan that serves the best interests of the children while also respecting the rights and needs of each parent.
Divorce coaches work with clients at various stages of the divorce process. Whether you’re just contemplating divorce or already in the midst of divorce proceedings, a coach can provide valuable guidance and support. They can help you ask the right questions, make better decisions, and take the next steps with confidence.
Remember, hiring a divorce coach is not an admission of failure or a sign of weakness. It’s a proactive step towards taking control of your life and your future. It’s about recognizing the significant challenges that divorce brings and deciding to seek professional help to navigate them.
In conclusion, the journey through divorce can be tough, but you don’t have to go through it alone. A divorce coach can provide the support, guidance, and expertise you need to navigate this challenging time. They can help you move forward, adapt to new circumstances, and create a new life after divorce. So, consider hiring a divorce coach. It could be the key to turning a challenging situation into an opportunity for growth and transformation.
At The Smart Divorce:
We understand that you’re navigating through a challenging period in your life. Divorce, regardless of the circumstances, is a significant life event filled with a myriad of emotions and decisions. You might be feeling lost, overwhelmed, or uncertain about the future. But remember, you’re not alone in this journey.
Our team of professionals at The Smart Divorce is here to support you. We acknowledge the emotional turmoil you’re experiencing and we’re committed to helping you navigate through this transition. We focus on the present and the future, assisting you in defining your values and goals, visualizing your dreams, and crafting your post-divorce life.
We believe that with the right guidance and support, you can turn this challenging situation into an opportunity for growth and transformation. Our goal-oriented process is designed to help you make purposeful decisions during your divorce and prepare a concrete plan for your life post-divorce.
We encourage you to reach out to us. Let’s work together to navigate this journey, making it less daunting and more manageable. We’re here to help you move forward, adapt to new circumstances, and create a new life after divorce.
Take the first step towards your Next Best Life. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call with us today. Let’s explore how we can support you in this journey towards a smarter, more empowering divorce.
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