Last reviewed: October 27, 2026 by Sarah Bates, Law Clerk, AP.fm, CDS

Yes, the lesbian divorce rate is higher than the rate for gay male couples and for different-sex couples in most countries that track it. In Finland, for example, about 41% of female couples who married or registered a partnership had divorced within 10 years, compared with 22% of different-sex couples. But a number about thousands of couples can’t tell you what will happen in your marriage.

If you’re a woman ending a marriage to another woman, the more pressing questions are usually closer to home. Who stays where this week? Are you both legal parents? Do you need a lawyer who understands same-sex families? I’ll cover what the research says, what Canadian law says, and where to start.

This is general educational information, not legal, tax, financial or mental-health advice for your situation.

What research says about the lesbian divorce rate

The strongest figures come from countries that record every marriage and divorce in national registries. None of them is Canada, so read each one as a pattern from another country, not a prediction for you.

Finland: the most recent large study

A 2025 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family followed every couple in Finland who entered a legal union between 2003 and 2020: 3,412 female couples, 1,892 male couples and about 458,000 different-sex couples. By 10 years (or the end of 2021 for newer couples), 40.7% of the female couples had divorced, compared with 26.7% of male couples and 21.6% of different-sex couples.

The researchers also found that a longer time living together before the legal union and having a child together were both linked to a lower divorce risk. Having a child together lowered the risk less for female couples than for different-sex couples, though, and those factors explained only part of the gap.

England and Wales: official divorce figures

The Office for National Statistics reported 1,891 same-sex divorces in England and Wales in 2023, the highest yearly number since same-sex marriage began there in 2014. Female same-sex couples who divorced had been married for a median of 6.3 years, compared with 7.2 years for male couples and 12.7 years for opposite-sex couples. Civil partnerships show the same pattern: in 2023, 11.2 of every 1,000 women in a civil partnership ended it, compared with 7.4 of every 1,000 men.

The United States and other countries

The Finnish researchers note that earlier studies found the highest divorce risk among female couples in Sweden, Norway, Denmark, the United States and Canada. US data is patchier. One often-quoted US study (Goldberg and Garcia, 2015) followed 190 adoptive couples for five years: 7 of 57 lesbian couples (12.3%), 1 of 49 gay male couples (2.0%) and 7 of 84 heterosexual couples (8.3%) ended their relationships. That’s a small sample of adoptive parents, so I wouldn’t stretch it to all couples.

What Canadian data does show

Statistics Canada counted 95,435 same-gender couples in the 2021 Census, about 1.1% of all couples. Among couples of two women, 40.5% were married and 24.3% had children living with them, compared with 77.8% married and 50.5% with children among different-gender couples. I couldn’t find a Statistics Canada table that compares divorce rates by couple type, so any Canadian lesbian divorce rate you see quoted online deserves a second look.

For the bigger national picture, see Canadian divorce statistics and why the divorce rate is so high.

What the numbers can’t tell you

Most of these studies cover marriages that are only 10 to 20 years old as a group, because same-sex marriage is recent everywhere. Registries record the sex of each spouse, not sexual orientation, so a “female couple” may include bisexual or queer women. You’ll also see figures from the Netherlands quoted online, often traced back to news reports, not an official table, so I haven’t repeated them here. And a higher group rate doesn’t make your marriage weaker. It just means more couples in that group ended their marriages in the years studied.

Why researchers think the rate is higher

Nobody has a settled answer. Here are the explanations researchers and writers raise most often, with what the evidence does and doesn’t support.

• Time together before the legal union. In the Finnish study, female couples had lived together for shorter periods before marrying, and shorter periods were linked to a higher risk. It explained only part of the difference.
• Children. Couples of two women are far more likely to have children at home than couples of two men (24.3% compared with 6.2% in Canada’s 2021 Census). Raising children is hard on any marriage, and the Finnish study found a shared child protected female couples less than it protected different-sex couples.
• Who asks for the divorce. One common theory is that women are more likely than men to initiate the end of an unhappy different-sex marriage, partly because of higher expectations of emotional closeness, so a marriage of two women has two people who might. It’s a theory, not a proven cause. I look at the pattern in why women initiate divorce.
• Money. Women still tend to earn less than men, which can add financial stress to a household with two women’s incomes. Researchers have also suggested the opposite in some families: higher earnings can make leaving easier.
• Stigma and support. Same-sex couples may get less backing from family, faith communities or workplaces, and some still feel judged when the marriage ends. That pressure doesn’t disappear because marriage became legal.

None of these explains any one marriage, including yours.

Same-sex divorce in Canada: the same law

Marriage, for civil purposes, has been “the lawful union of two persons” across Canada since the Civil Marriage Act received royal assent on July 20, 2005. Ontario and British Columbia had already started registering same-sex marriages in 2003, after provincial court rulings (Statistics Canada). So a same-sex divorce in Canada follows the same rules as any other divorce.

• The Divorce Act applies. Canada’s Divorce Act lets a court grant a divorce when a marriage has broken down, most often shown by living separate and apart for at least one year.
• Where you apply. The federal divorce fact sheet says at least one spouse has to have lived in a Canadian province or territory for at least a year before applying, and only a court can grant a divorce.
• Property and support. Dividing property, spousal support and child support follow the same rules as for any married couple, and property rules come from your province’s law. In Ontario, the Family Law Act covers dividing property between married spouses. Other provinces have their own rules.
• Parenting. The Divorce Act uses the terms parenting time (the time a child spends in each parent’s care) and decision-making responsibility (who makes significant decisions about the child). A court considers only the best interests of the child when it makes a parenting order.

Parentage when you used a donor or adopted

This is where same-sex divorce can differ in real life, even though the law is the same. Parentage means who the law recognizes as a child’s parent, and it isn’t always the same as who raised the child.

In Ontario, the Children’s Law Reform Act says that if the birth parent had a spouse when a child was conceived through assisted reproduction or insemination by a sperm donor, the spouse is a parent too. That doesn’t apply if the spouse didn’t consent, or withdrew consent, before conception. These rules have been in force since January 1, 2017, and a court can also make a declaration of parentage. Other provinces have their own parentage laws, so check yours.

Even where only one of you is a legal parent, the Divorce Act can treat a child as a “child of the marriage” when one spouse is the parent and the other stands in the place of a parent. That can affect parenting and support. How it applies to your family is a question for a lawyer, not a divorce coach.

If you’re in Ontario, Divorce the Smartway explains how same-sex divorce works in Ontario in more detail.

Obtain legal advice before relying on an understanding about parenting, payments or the use of property.

Sarah A. Bates, Finding Your Way Through Separation, Chapter 1

That line from Chapter 1 of my book, Finding Your Way Through Separation, carries extra weight here. An informal “you keep the kids during the week for now” can shape what happens later, so ask before you agree.

Finding a lawyer who understands your family

Any family lawyer can handle a same-sex divorce, but experience with same-sex families helps when parentage, donors, adoption or a civil union from another country are involved. When you call, ask:

• How many same-sex divorces have you handled in the last few years?
• Have you dealt with parentage questions, donor agreements or second-parent adoptions?
• Will you use the right names and pronouns for my spouse, my children and me?
• What would you need from me before a first meeting?

If you’re not sure where to start, my guide to finding the best family lawyer walks through the search.

What to do in your first week

When someone calls me in the first week after a separation, the first thing we sort out is which deadlines are real. Chapter 1 of my book is built around that idea: reduce the number of decisions you’re trying to make at once.

Illustrative example: The following composite example is intended only to show the kinds of questions a person may consider. It does not describe a particular client or predict an outcome in another situation.

It’s Sunday night, three days after Kim moved into her sister’s place. Nadia is at the kitchen table with her phone. Their son, who’s six, was conceived with donor sperm through a clinic, and Kim gave birth to him. Kim’s text says: “I think he should stay with me during the week. I just need one thing to be simple right now.”

Nadia’s first draft of a reply is angry. Her second agrees to everything, because she’s afraid she isn’t a “real” parent in the law’s eyes. She sends neither. Instead she writes down three things: school pickup on Tuesday (a real deadline), the reply to Kim (no deadline at all), and the parentage question (one for a lawyer). She texts Kim: “I’ll do Tuesday pickup as usual. Let’s talk about the week schedule once we’ve both had advice.”

By Thursday she has a lawyer’s appointment booked and her son’s birth certificate and clinic consent forms in a folder. She still doesn’t know how the schedule will end up, and she’s still hurt. But she hasn’t agreed to something she might regret, and Kim, who is exhausted too, hasn’t been pushed into a fight.

Nadia did what I’d suggest to anyone that first weekend. As I write in my book, Finding Your Way Through Separation:

If you cannot tell which kind of urgency applies, ask your lawyer or the professional responsible.

Sarah A. Bates, Finding Your Way Through Separation, Chapter 1

Here’s the order I’d tackle the first week in. It comes from Worksheet 1 in my book, which asks for no more than three current issues, each with its real deadline, what you know and the next action.

1. Name the real pressure. Write down each issue in a sentence and ask what happens if it isn’t settled today. A court document may have a deadline. A text asking you to agree to something usually doesn’t.
2. Keep daily life running. List what has to happen this week: children’s care, medication, rent or mortgage, essential bills and work. Note where you need help.
3. Write down your separation date. Note the date you separated and anything you’ve both agreed to, even informally. The one-year separation period for a divorce runs from when you started living separate and apart.
4. Start a document folder. Gather your marriage certificate, children’s birth certificates, any donor, clinic or adoption paperwork, and recent statements for income, accounts and debts. My prepare for divorce checklist has the full list.
5. Book one legal consultation. Bring your three issues and your parentage questions. Ask what, if anything, has a real deadline.
6. Choose your support. Pick one or two people you trust, and consider a therapist or counsellor who works with 2SLGBTQ+ clients if your sleep, work or focus is suffering.

If you’re reading this at 2 a.m., you don’t have to finish the list tonight. One step tomorrow is enough.

If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services by calling 9-1-1. If there are threats, coercive control, violence, urgent child-safety concerns, or a mental-health crisis, seek prompt local professional or emergency support. Abuse happens in same-sex relationships too, and the Divorce Act’s definition of family violence includes a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour.

Friends, community and the children

In a smaller community, you and your spouse may share most of your friends, and your social spaces. It’s normal to worry about who will “get” which friends. Decide who needs to know now and who can wait. My post on friends choosing sides in a divorce covers how to handle it.

The same chapter of my book has a short line for this stage:

Ask for concrete help where possible.

Sarah A. Bates, Finding Your Way Through Separation, Chapter 1

A friend who takes the kids for an afternoon may give you the hour you need for a lawyer’s call. A dropped-off dinner can do more for you than another opinion about your ex.

For the children, plan what you’ll tell them together if you can, and keep adult worries with adults. My guide on how to tell kids about divorce walks through the conversation, and these co-parenting tips help once you’re in two homes.

If you’re both able to talk safely, mediation can help you settle parenting and money issues without court. A mediator is neutral and doesn’t give either of you legal advice, so get independent legal advice before you sign anything. In Ontario, the province’s family mediation page explains the services; other provinces have their own. Mediation only fits if it’s safe and both of you can speak freely.

If you want help getting organized without booking anything, my post on what a divorce coach does explains what that support looks like.

Lesbian divorce rate questions

Do lesbians have higher divorce rates?

In the countries that track it, yes: married female couples divorce more often than male couples or different-sex couples

The clearest recent figures come from Finland, where 40.7% of female couples had divorced within about 10 years, compared with 26.7% of male couples and 21.6% of different-sex couples (Ponkilainen and colleagues, 2025). England and Wales, Sweden, Norway and Denmark show the same direction. Canada doesn’t publish a comparable figure, and a group rate says nothing certain about one marriage.

Which couples have the highest divorce rate?

Among the couple types researchers compare, married female couples usually show the highest rate

That’s the pattern in the Finnish study and in the earlier studies it reviews. Other things also affect divorce risk, though. The same Finnish study found that couples who had lived together longer before their legal union, and couples who had a child together, were less likely to divorce. Your own history matters more than your couple type.

Is same-sex divorce different in Canada?

No, the same federal Divorce Act and the same provincial family laws apply to every married couple

Same-sex marriage has been legal across Canada since the Civil Marriage Act in 2005, so you divorce the same way any married couple does. A court grants the divorce, usually after you’ve lived separate and apart for at least one year. Property, support and parenting follow the same rules too, and those rules vary by province.

Are we both parents after using a donor?

In Ontario, usually yes if you were spouses when the child was conceived and both consented, but check your situation with a lawyer

Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act says the birth parent’s spouse is a parent of a child conceived through assisted reproduction or insemination by a sperm donor, unless the spouse didn’t consent, or withdrew consent, before conception. Other provinces have their own parentage laws. If your child was born before 2017, was adopted, or your situation doesn’t fit neatly, get legal advice early.

Are lesbians more likely to break up?

Research mostly measures divorces and registered partnerships, so there’s little sound data on couples who never married

Divorce registries count legal marriages and partnerships. They don’t count couples who lived together and split without a legal union, and they don’t record sexual orientation. So claims about lesbian breakups in general go further than the data can. In Canada, most couples of two women aren’t married: Statistics Canada counted 40.5% as married in 2021.