The secret to a successful post-divorce existence is to stick to a post-divorce strategy. With so many factors influencing your life before and after your divorce, having a plan in place can provide much-needed comfort and stability, as well as help you move forward more constructively. There will inevitably be many things you can’t control as much as you’d want during this process, so it’s critical to seize control of the things you can and use them to keep yourself calm amid the storm. In the same way that your children require regularity, comfort, and safety in order to function at their best, you must create such an environment for yourself as you begin your new life after divorce.
What is a strategic divorce?
1. Do you need a divorce mediator?
If you and your husband are entering divorce on good terms and have similar future goals, an experienced divorce mediator can assist keep the peace. You can prevent a situation in which you are pitted against your spouse by enabling the divorce process to proceed in a collaborative rather than confrontational manner. You can even get divorced online using companies like divorcethesmartway.ca, making your divorce as non-confrontational as possible and serving your children’s best interests.
2. Define your co-parenting relationship.
You are still parents to your children and a family unit, and you need to be allies in this cause, even if you are no longer husband and wife. Your children will already be dealing with anxiety, so it’s critical that they realize their parents are still there for them in a supportive and collaborative manner. You must establish rules and boundaries that will allow you to build a parenting partnership since this is the most healthy approach to proceed.
3. Do you need a Separation Agreement?
When everything is written down, it becomes much clearer. There is no place for he said, she said when things are written down. The same may be said for a parenting plan. It’s critical that you and your ex write out how you’ll handle circumstances with your children so that, even if tensions between you and your ex rise, your children are spared the consequences. You want to show your children that when it comes to their well-being, you can still work together as a team. Furthermore, no matter how amicable things are now, it is to your benefit to write down everything that has to do with your divorce agreement, because things change. When one spouse fails to keep their end of the contract or if a circumstance arises that has not been addressed previously, you must have a strategy in place.
4. Allow yourself to grive the Separation.
Whether you’ve been married for a year or twenty, you surrendered a piece of yourself to your partner when you said “I do” and started a life together. Even if you were in favour of the divorce, you will need time to mourn the loss of a close friend and loved one when you get divorced.
5. Discover your own unique voice.
For yourself and your children, it is critical that you find your voice and regain your emotional strength. Keeping a journal is a good approach to find your voice. It’s a technique to write down your thoughts and explain things to your Ex that you might not want to say out loud. It’s also a terrific method to keep track of your healing and reflect on your progress in recreating your life after divorce.
6. Have a conversation with your children.
It will give your children a sense of empowerment and stability if they realise there are things they can do to aid with the change. Talk to them about how they’re feeling and what life will be like during and after the divorce. Even if you don’t feel like it, set a good example for your children and make sure they see you as a strong pillar in their lives. They are in desperate need of reassurance.
7. Get your separation finances in order.
Making sure you understand your finances is a great way to start your new life on the right foot. Examine your financial condition and your resources to evaluate what options you have for housing, employment, and income and expenses.
8. Meet new people.
Don’t be scared to reinvent yourself and develop new connections in the process. You don’t have to think of yourself as half of a pair any longer; it’s fine to think of yourself as a single person.
9. Make a bucket list of things you want to do.
Divorce allows you to re-define yourself, re-discover old passions, and discover new ones. Keep yourself occupied in productive ways, and consider the things you may have let go of or pushed away while married and reintroduce them into your life. Create new interests: travel, return to school, do whatever makes the new you happy, since you will be a better parent and person if you are happy.
10. Seek expert help without fear or embarrassment.
You aren’t the first person to experience this, and you won’t be the last. It’s difficult to move forward and let go of the past. It’s perfectly fine if you need to talk to a therapist to get through your divorce and move forward in a positive way.
11. Keep your gaze forward, not backward.
Try not to dwell on your negative experiences in the past. The majority of your married life will be filled with good memories, which you should cherish and focus on. Look to the future and start developing your new self and making new memories, since it is only when you look forward, no matter how difficult or long the process may be, that you will have the best perspective on everything that is ahead in your life after divorce.
Find out if Online Divorce Mediation is appropriate for you “Risk Free.” Sign up for a Get Acquainted Call with a family mediator who will answer all of your questions regarding seeking a divorce through mediation. Please contact divorcethesmartway.ca.
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