How to tell kids about divorce – Podcast

How to tell kids about divorce

How do I prepare my kids for divorce?

According to research, too few parents sit down with their children and explain that their marriage is ending. They also discourage their kids from asking inquiries. Parents frequently remain silent, leaving their children perplexed. When parents fail to explain what is going on, their children get frightened, sad, and lonely, making it much more difficult for them to cope. Children don’t need to know why their parents are divorcing; what they do need to know is what it means to them and their lives.

Providing age-appropriate information will assist your children and teenagers in coping with the various changes that separation and divorce bring about in their lives. They will feel less worried as a result of it. It also builds a positive communication pattern with your children.

Will Divorce ruin the children

Children and teenagers are far more intelligent than we typically give them credit for. There is information that they will want to know and that you should communicate with them, such as;

The parenting strategy

If at all possible, attempt to come to an interim agreement about your living arrangements before speaking with your children. Although your plan may alter in the future, your children will feel more secure if they know you’ve thought about how the separation would affect them.


Make it clear to your children that they are equally important to both of you and that you both want to spend time with them. Assure your children that the divorce is between their parents, not their parents, and that you will always be their parents.

Answers to their inquiries are as follows

Consider what questions your children might ask and be prepared to respond. They’ll want to know if they’ll be able to go to the same school, visit their friends and extended relatives, and where each of you will be living, for example.

Talk about it with your children together:

It is beneficial for both parents to talk with their children at the same time. This sends a consistent message to them, demonstrating that you both love children and that, despite your divorce, you can and will work together and parent constructively. When talking to children together isn’t possible, try your best to coordinate what you’re saying to them and avoid putting your co-parent down or being nasty about them.

What to tell the kids about the divorce

When parents communicate to their children about their separation or divorce, there are a few things that you will most likely want them to hear:

  • To avoid blaming one parent, it was a shared decision to separate.
  • You, their parents, adore them and believe the divorce is not their fault.
  • Give them realistic examples of what their life would be like.
  • What will remain the same and what will change, for example.

Make an effort to offer your children with a sense of security and routine. Allow time for grieving: Don’t rush your children; give them space to process their feelings. Children, too, require time to grieve and adjust to their new circumstances. Allow your children to express any and all emotions, and reassure them that it is fine to do so. Also, assist your children in expressing their emotions and make them know that they may come to you with any questions.

Assist your youngster in comprehending the new world:

What will the new reality look like for your children? A family calendar should be displayed prominently or in your children’s rooms. Show your children that you care by assisting them in keeping track of when they will be at each of their respective homes. You want them to feel at ease in this new routine because they will be adjusting to life in two different houses.

Finally, don’t be hesitant to inform your children that while you, the parents, may not have all the answers, you are working together to achieve your goals.

On The Smart Divorce on Divorce Source Radio, I had the honour of speaking with Dr. Joan Kelly, a clinical psychologist and internationally acknowledged authority on divorce. We talked about what to keep in mind when telling your children about your separation or divorce. Any parent who wants to know what to say to their children should listen to this programme.

What is on the Podcast

  • Why is it so critical to have a conversation with your children at this time?

  • Why is it so difficult for parents to communicate with their children?

  • Getting ready to talk to your kids about the divorce

  • What should you say to your kids and how should you say it?

  • What to tell your kids about your divorce or separation

What Should We Tell the Children About our Separation or Divorce?Opens in a new tab.

Our guest, Joan Kelly PhD., a Clinical Psychologist, is an internationally recognized expert on divorce and children’s adjustment and interventions designed to assist parents and enhance resiliency in children. Dr. Kelly has been studying the impact of divorce on children since 1968.

Deborah Moskovitch

This blog post was written by Deborah Moskovitch the author of "The Smart Divorce", the catalyst for this website. This evergreen book covers how to manage the divorce process for a less painful result.

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