My… er… um… guy that I’m dating? * TSD Contributor

by JJCarson, * TSD Contributor

Why is it that I can’t seem to say the word ‘boyfriend’ without feeling like it needs to be accompanied by a giggle and a hair flip?

How is it possible, no one has come up with a better word for the man you are dating post-divorce?


I mean, come on. I have a mortgage. Two kids. A job and a SUV. I’m divorced and… not young. Seriously? I have a ‘BF?’


Let me just say, it’s NOT a commitment issue. I can’t make the word come out of my mouth without feeling ridiculous.


But, no matter what I call him, I’m in a committed relationship. Willingly. Happily. With Mav. (Aka the new boyfriend – nicknamed Maverick by my friends because he ROCKS a flight suit and is actually a veteran… YUMmmmm-Meeee!) It has been nearly 9 months and I’m still somewhat in complete amazement and awe.


Mav and I worked together and became acquaintances/work friends over the course of about 4 years. Upon meeting him, I found him to be smart, well-spoken, reliable and easy-to-work with. Neither one of us thought anything more as we were both married, in love with and completely committed to our spouses.


Skip ahead, skip ahead. I got divorced. About a year later, he was getting a divorce. I have to say, I was surprised. While we had become friends, I never had an inkling.


All of sudden, the exact type of man I’d be interested in, the exact type of man I would want a relationship with, a man I already respected and was friends with … was…. ‘in play.’


Did I mention that Mav is easy on the eyes?


The problem was… I didn’t want him to be in play. Not yet. I had just pulled my head out of the sand, started to date and did NOT want a relationship. Relationships are scary and I wasn’t sure I was ready. Plus, Mav’s marriage had just ended, painfully, so dating wasn’t exactly on his mind either.


Yet, there we were. Talking. Often.


Skip ahead some more. Now, I was having a Closing Party – a party to celebrate the refinance of my house and the closing of the final piece of my divorce. It was a fun time to celebrate and thank the friends and family that supported me.


I invited Mav.


But, first, I told all of my friends NOT to leave me alone with him. He was relationship material. I knew it. But the timing was wrong and I didn’t want to consider it. Not now.


One by one, my gal pals met him, liked him, felt comfortable with him… and left… me alone. With Mav. (Nice friends, eh?)


The next thing I knew… it was just the two of us.


Giggle, giggle, hair flip. Giggle, giggle, hair flip.


BEST. First. Kiss. EVER!!! Zzzzzzing, Zzzzzzing…. Za Zooom!


No sprinting this time. Turns out, I went back for another kiss, another and another until the sun came up. As we approach the year mark, I’m still a little astounded to find myself in a relationship given all the heartache I’ve been through. But, it’s an easy relationship, an equal relationship… one where I can be myself. Even if being myself, means occasionally voicing my skepticism, going on a rant about my ex and showing him this blog. But, it’s still early and we’re moving slowly.


Is it the Top Gun fantasies? The fact that he really ‘gets’ me? That we’ve both been through our own train wrecks? Or is the timing horribly wrong?


I don’t know and right now, I don’t care. I like him. A lot. And I love spending time with him.


Mav. I think I’ll call him Mav for the purpose of this blog. Until I figure out a better word.


And that’s just good enough for now.

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