Managing a divorce is a process. You might be wondering if it’s really possible to get a smart divorce and move on to a better life? The answer is yes – with a lot of hard work. Divorce is probably one of the most emotional experiences you will ever face. The process can be overwhelming. But, it need not be, if you are able to make your decisions with focus, hope and confidence.
How to Make Smart Decisions About Divorce
Get informed about the divorce process. Take the time to find a family lawyer that is right for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Make sure to understand the dispute resolutions negotiation, mediation, collaborative family law, arbitration, mediation/arbitration and litigation. As best you can, try to treat your divorce as a business transaction; keep the emotions of divorce out of your family lawyer’s office. You’re in charge; make sure to understand all your options before making decisions. Information is knowledge and knowledge is power!
Staying Sane Throughout Divorce
Divorce has become so common today that people underestimate how powerful an experience it is. Understand that you are grieving your divorce, which is normal and to be expected. The fact is you are experiencing losses you probably never thought would happen. To help get you through this difficult time, develop your support network including friends, family, clergy, parenting groups, divorce groups, and/or a therapist. I promise you, you will feel better. As the saying goes – time is a healer!
The number-one coping strategy is to get yourself in a position of wanting very little from your ex-spouse. The less you want from him/her, the less frustrated you will be. Think about it – if you couldn’t change your ex when you were married, you certainly aren’t going to change him/her now. Also, realize you will never get the apology you want and may even deserve. Taking control of your life, getting organized and making informed decisions will be empowering.
You need to give yourself the opportunity to explore and consciously make choices about the life you want to lead post divorce. Envision what you would like life to like to look like when you are ready to start moving on, and think about what you need to do to get there. Don’t procrastinate! It’s up to you to make these things happen. Your goal should be to create a better life today than the one you had before.
Your New Found Time
You will likely have to get used to the fact that your children are not going to be with you 24/7. They will be spending part of their time with your ex and part with you. You can’t control what goes on when your kids are with their other parent. Learn to let go and don’t worry about the stuff you can’t control. Use the time when your kids are not with you productively. Pursue your dreams and your interests. Maybe now you will even have the time to see a movie or go to the gym. So, go to your closet and clean out the emotional demons, put on your favorite jeans and t-shirt or great new outfit and make plans for a fabulous evening. Just go out and have fun!
Here are 6 great articles and tips
A divorce can take its toll on everyone involved. As you process the reality of what you and your family are actually going through, you might be left feeling mentally and emotionally drained, and quite alone in your experiences. But the truth is, you’re not, and you will get through it. Here are 6 great articles and tips with solid divorce advice to help you get through this difficult time
1. Surviving divorce at midlife
You’re going through a divorce and your life is about to change quite dramatically. One woman discusses how a surprise divorce gave her a new path in life.
2. Reclaim your space after divorce
So your ex has moved out – now what? One of the best ways to get through a divorce is to reclaim your own space. Check out our guide to moving your home from “we” to “me”.
3. 5 steps to post-divorce happiness
Your marriage may be over, but that doesn’t mean your life is. Expert tips on how to survive life post-divorce, and how to find your happiness again.
4. After divorce: Happier, stronger you
Identifying herself as a formerly married person didn’t work. But as a fabulous single woman…
6. From dam to glam: Dating after divorce
The dating game has never been an easy one. And now that you’ve been there, done that, and are back again, how do you get back in? You will also find useful tips here to ensure you are putting your children’s best interests first. By: Simone Castello & More.ca
This article is original content on More.ca
You might also be interested in reading Canadian divorce consultant Deborah Moskovitch’s Midlife divorce advice for women. Are children of a divorce really doomed? Check out Divorce myths debunked to find out. Also, is it possible your parents are to be blamed for your midlife divorce?
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