A client walked into my office recently, visibly upset. She was on the verge of signing legal documents to purchase her new home, but was now second-guessing her decision. In the midst of the divorce process and negotiating her financial agreement, she sought advice on preparing for the new life she envisioned post-divorce.

How does one prepare for divorce? While you might have a vision of your financial situation after the divorce, the reality and your expectations might not align.

What should you avoid during a divorce? Don’t make any significant investments or purchases before your divorce decree is signed. You might end up being responsible for these expenses, such as jewelry, vacations, clothing, and so on. Don’t make purchases based on projections; the outcome can be unpredictable.

How should a woman – and a man – prepare for a divorce?

If you’ve been the financially uninformed spouse and lack a credit rating, now is the time to start building one. If you’re living in the marital home and your spouse has moved out, consider changing the household bills to your name. Pay these on time and in full to start establishing a good credit rating.

If you had a joint credit card with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, the principal card holder has the credit rating. Apply for a credit card in your name. If you’re a first-time card holder, start with a small credit limit and gradually increase it as you prove to be a good credit risk.

Getting your finances in order is critical. All family law attorneys agree on the importance of their clients being as financially aware as possible. It’s the best way to understand your rights and obligations and set realistic expectations early in the divorce process.

Your family law attorney can then provide informed advice based on facts, not speculation. The more you can manage and organize your financial documents for your attorney, and establish realistic financial goals, the more you can help reduce your attorney’s billable hours!

Get involved in your finances. Understand the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed. Determine where the money is coming from and how it is applied toward your budget. Participate in setting up investments such as retirement accounts, and understand where and what the other assets are.

Many family law attorneys suggest that if someone is contemplating a divorce or separation, one of the first things they should do is gather their financial documents.

How to organize your divorce finances checklist

Developing realistic expectations when it comes to finances is of utmost importance. One of the many concerns that my clients voice most often during a consultation is their lack of knowledge and organization skills when it comes to their finances. Getting your finances in order with the objective of cutting down on your legal expenses should be a priority.

Lawyers don’t always agree on every issue. But, when it comes to finances, all family lawyers agree on how important it is for their clients to be as financially aware as possible. It’s the best way to learn your rights and obligations and to determine realistic financial expectations early in the divorce process. And the more you can manage and organize your information for your family lawyer, the more you can help reduce your family lawyer’s billable hours!

Here are some ideas as to learn about your finances if you were not involved with finances during your marriage:

Get more involved in your finances. Know the basics – pay the bills and file the statements. Learn how your daily and monthly expenses are managed. Understand where your money is coming from and understand how to budget. Take part in managing or setting up any investments, know what your outstanding mortgage is and the terms and so on. Gain awareness of your outstanding assets and liabilities.

Many family lawyers suggest that if someone is contemplating a divorce or separating, one of the first things you should do is accumulate the financial information.

Once the divorce process is under way, your family lawyer will need ready access to all relevant financial documents. Start by locating and gathering together the following records pertaining to both you and your spouse:

social security numbers income tax returns for the past three years retirement savings plans statements for the past three years bank account statements insurance policies (life; automobile; house; other) stock certificates credit card bills employment payment stubs brokerage statements pension statements pension valuation health insurance and work-related benefits real estate records receipts and monthly statements documenting household expenses and everyday expenses (groceries, gas, heat, water, personal grooming, transportation, gifts, clothing, laundry and cleaning supplies, entertainment, miscellaneous expenses, and so forth) list of all assets and liabilities date of separation (the date of separation, or “valuation date,” is the date that is used to determine the value of particular assets–the matrimonial home, bank statements, investments, and so forth)

Photocopy everything, and store your set in a separate folder from the original records. Don’t just keep the originals for your own personal use; the other side is entitled to these documents, too. If you do withhold these records from the other side, sooner or later you are going to be asked to provide them, which will cost you even more in legal fees.

Keeping this information organized, being well informed and involved will give you a feeling of control, reduce the stress, and help to develop realistic financial objectives.

With more than 25 years of real estate industry experience, Joan Rogliano enjoys the distinction of being the only licensed Realtor in the United States who holds the four-part designation of Real Estate Divorce Specialist, Certified Luxury Home Marketing Specialist, Council of Residential Specialist and Graduate of the Real Estate Institute.

As the broker-owner of Rogliano Real Estate Group since 2006, she has dedicated her professional expertise and personal life experience to enhance, educate and empower women in transition of divorce and widowhood. Her specialty is assisting families with the life decision of what to do with the marital home when they are divorcing. Usually the largest asset they have, the focus on their personal options is vital.

 Preparing For Divorce Q&A

Q. What is the most important message you try to convey to people going through a divorce?

A. Take a deep breath and slow down! Divorce is an experience that is filled with lots of emotions, so everyone tends to “just want it over with”. This leads them to frequently make hasty decisions that are not coming from an informed place. Seek out the professionals you need on your team and use all the resources you can, to educate yourself on your available options. You must be proactive for yourself and your children as these decisions are hard to reverse after things settle down.

Q. How has divorce impacted your life personally?

A. Divorce was not part of my life plan but has been the greatest influence on my life. It teaches us so much about ourselves, family, friends and even acquaintances. Over the years there have been profound shifts in my relationships with my children (who are now grown), and a deep respect for what we experienced together. We are all in agreement that divorce has made us stronger and wiser. It also creates an immediate bond when meeting individuals who have, or are, experiencing divorce either personally or through a family member or friend.

Q. What are your thoughts regarding how thesmartdivorce.com can help families and children deal with the journey through divorce?

A. Divorce creates vulnerability and there are definitely people who will prey on that. It requires support and a new community of trusted resources. The Smart Divorce is a stellar example of resources that have been compiled with mindfulness about the value, substance and integrity of its participants. There are so many challenges for divorcing families and even a little bit of solid knowledge and understanding can help diffuse the situation. Participating in this process of providing education and emotional support via The Smart Divorce is an honor.

Q. What inspired you to get involved in helping families understand and deal with divorce-related issues?

A. While going through my divorce there was invaluable support available to me and my children. One’s inclination is to then lend a hand to others when we can. Through my work as a Realtor, it was revealed to me repeatedly that families were receiving a lot of misinformation regarding their family home.

There seemed to be a one-size-fits-all mentality that the home needed to be sold, and there weren’t any options. Education was required to prepare for this decision which should be customized for each family. As this was usually the largest asset a family held, missteps could prove costly, both financially and emotionally. Divorce brings major changes to life and a home can become vitally important for some sense of continuity, particularly to children.

Q: How will your affiliation with thesmartdivorce.com help others become more aware of divorce issues, conflicts and resolutions?

A. The Smart Divorce is a valuable avenue to spread the message that changes in the way divorce is viewed and handled by our systems have to be altered. We must make this a more humane and less costly experience for families. When we blend our voices they become louder, and that creates more power to increase awareness. I look forward to contributing to this discussion and creating more focus on the issues divorce presents.

Conclusion:

As you’ve navigated through this comprehensive guide, you’ve taken an important step towards understanding the financial realities of divorce. It’s a complex process that requires careful planning, organization, and a clear understanding of your financial situation.

Remember, it’s not just about surviving the divorce, but about setting yourself up for a secure financial future. This is where professional guidance can make a significant difference. A lawyer can help you navigate the legal complexities, while a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can provide invaluable insights into your financial picture and help you make informed decisions.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember that you’re not alone. There are resources and professionals ready to assist you. One of the most beneficial steps you can take right now is to schedule a Get Acquainted Call with us. This call is an opportunity for you to ask questions, gain clarity, and start building a support network that can guide you through this challenging time.

Don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here to help you navigate this journey and emerge stronger on the other side.

Schedule a Get Acquainted Call

Remember, this is not the end but the beginning of a new chapter. With the right support and guidance, you can navigate this transition with confidence and resilience.